Soft White Underbelly: Beautiful and Ugly

Raw.

Vulnerable.

Beautiful and ugly.

These are the first adjectives that pop into my head when describing Soft White Underbelly, a no frills YouTube channel and interview forum created by Los Angeles-based photographer Mark Laita.

There are no fancy graphics, no enthusiastic prompts to “smash that ‘Like’ button”, no musical accompaniments or impressive visual effects. It's about as raw and stripped down as you can get.

Even without the bells and whistles of elite post-production, Soft White Underbelly is by far my favourite channel on YouTube (Stansberry Research would be #2) and its appeal and strength is drawn entirely from the vulnerability of its subjects.

There are rapists and rape victims. There are gang members and corrupt cops. There are conmen, hitmen, and hackers, prostitutes, former mafia dons and death row prison wardens. There are clowns with OCD and soldiers with PTSD. There are pimps, addicts, junkies and murderers.

And they're all just sitting there, in front of Mark's camera sharing their deepest pain.

A lot of the addiction and sexual abuse stuff is heartbreaking to watch but there are also moments that are uplifting, hopeful and straight up triumphant. Some stories have happy endings while some endings are yet to be written. There is no character development or predictable story arcs with any of the subjects, they’re simply REAL people being REAL.

I can’t say for sure how many hours I’ve spent watching Soft White Underbelly but I’m convinced that I’ve become a more compassionate, loving and empathetic person since I’ve started. Watching these courageous souls share their deepest pain and relive the heartbreaking moments that stripped them of their dignity and innocence has a strange way of breaching your own biases, prejudice and preconceived notions. Some stuff can be pretty dark to watch but it stirs up the realization that this life is fragile and precarious.

My heart bursts open with love and compassion for these people and there are times where I wish I could just jump through the screen and hug them, cry with them, BE THERE for them. Many of these people have had their childhoods completely stolen from them, left abandoned, alone, and too young to be equipped with the cognitive ability to process these events in a healthy manner. It's nature in the complete absence of nurture.

I could never fathom feeling THAT alone. Fuck man…

BUT, there is a redemptive quality to these stories even if some of the subjects are still deeply immersed in shadowy darkness. To me, the fact that they are able to share their stories has to have some sort of positive therapeutic effect on their overall well-being and more than one of them has transcended victimhood and used their circumstances as a springboard for meaningful personal growth. On top of that, as broken and damaged as some of these people are, there are still frequent glimmers of insight, self-awareness, remorse, love and pure intentions. I see a lot of big hearts in there.

Anyways, I’m not really sure where I wanted to go with this, I guess I just wanted to share Soft White Underbelly in hopes that it inspires people to seek help if they need it and to perhaps encourage others to be more humane and conscientious next time they pass somebody struggling on the streets. There are a million and one stories out there, a million of which we've never heard.

Please keep your hearts open ❤️

Not So Fun Fact: “The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports that two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA50FoqW-MY